we like to measure linearly. and through each linear correlation, we develop dependence; a state of relying on something.
we dissect time under the same linear parameters. a timeline. one end, our beginning. the other, the highest objective we set for ourselves. our timelines peppered with hash marks seeped in the present.
we meter in terms of here and of there, hoping to land on our targets.
summer slithers through tawny palms and we turn our faces to the transition of fall, to more structure and to some degree of a familiar framework.
as we evaluate our environments, we also evaluate ourselves. a year wiser, more experienced, you look back at your linear growth and can see that you aren’t where you started but you’re not where you want to be, just yet.
a wave of confidence escorts you through the next few weeks until you face a struggle. instantly you revert to habitual tendencies and are reminded that you have already been there.
a recycled routine.
you thought you had mastered this. you thought you had been there, done that, got the t-shirt. how could you be back in this moment?
how do you create the courage to keep from drowning when you are wading through a toxic puddle of déjà vu?
how do you keep running when you feel like you’re crawling?
BUT what if growth isn’t linear? WHAT IF instead of looking at life as single creations, we viewed it as an encompassing formation. see theres a difference between creation and formation.
creation: the action or process of bringing something into existence.
formation: the action of forming or process of transformation.
creation is an instantaneous, immediate satisfaction, but a formation takes time. over time we have trained our brains to forego immediate satisfaction for postponed pleasure. we are complex. we limit ourselves during the pursuit of passion knowing that there is something richer waiting for us. we have trained ourselves to reprimand temptation, to set higher goals, and to fix our eyes toward happiness, success, and love.
now this knowledge wasn’t gained over night. and this wisdom wasn’t bestowed upon you by say, age 8. and at twenty two I still find myself wrestling with different facets of this mentally. but I can look back and say I am not where I started, but I am nowhere near where I want to be.
I can also look back and say that for every transitional season that has tasted familiar, I have newfound stamina – formed endurance. each time I can see that there has been maturation that stands DEGREES from where I once stood.
this is because growth is not linear.
growth happens in rotations.
each revolution intoxicated with revelation.
i am a product of every experience, of every human, and every moment i have digested during the last 8306 days. I am a complex genesis of an impenetrable proposal, perfectly fashioned for me.
it’s hard. it’s hard to remove noxious relationships, attitudes, and mindsets. and it’s hard to silent the antiquity that deems you unworthy of tasting an opulent future.
you need more milk, you aren’t ready for meat.
stay brave. and when you think of all your fights, think of all the times you have been met with force.
for each time you rotate through a predicament, you gain greater perception.
you are supple.
you are worth. no matter where you stand, linearly.
xx
nat roe 